From Fear to Full Surrender into What God has in Store
I thought I had my life all together. I had just graduated and received my Bachelor of Education degree after five years of university, was planning a wedding — MY wedding, bought a brand-new car off the lot, and was prepping and preparing to settle down in my small, quaint, and quiet city of Fredericton, New Brunswick. To me, this was great. I was going to be close to family (pretty much all of them), I was already gaining teaching experience in the nearby elementary schools that I wanted to get integrated into, and I was even starting to get more involved in the church. To me, this was my plan, and in turn, this is what God wanted for me too. Until one day it dawned on me; I hadn’t even asked Him.
I knew something was missing, and I had been feeling it for a while — about a year or two. I attended a women’s conference in my hometown in early 2019 and The Lord revealed Himself to me in miraculous ways. Afterwards I could feel myself becoming more and more passionate about the idea of missions, I was becoming more invested into truly reading The Word daily, proactively seeking out Godly friendships and support, and stepping out of what was my current comfort zone of prayer and worship. On the flip side, the closer I felt I was getting to God and hearing His voice, the further away I felt to the relationship I was in, or better yet, the almost marriage I was in.
This is when I knew I needed to start praying to God and heavily seeking His will for my life. I knew at this point that I definitely didn’t have it all figured out like I thought. Sure, I could have ignored all of the feelings I was starting to have and just continue on with my life the way I had been, but I knew there was more. I was constantly reminded of His good, good promise in Jeremiah, when it states: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11). I knew that where He was leading me was going to come with making tough decisions that weren’t going to be easy or fun, but in turn I needed to let go of my fear and bow down in full surrender to the plans He had for me. So I did. With the guidance and confirmation I needed I ended things with my fiancé at the time, dropped my career, and gathered the money I needed to head to the other side of Canada to do a Discipleship Training School. God had been lining it up and opening the doors so perfectly that even if I thought that there wasn’t a way for me to go and do the school, He would come through. There was sadness, hurt, and questions of the unknown that I had to go through in the process, but I had never been so sure and confident in my life that I was 100% in the will of God (He’s really great at giving us the confirmation that we need in His timing).
Fast forward a year and a half later. I’m now living on the other side of Canada serving in full-time ministry alongside YWAM Nanaimo as a missionary, happily married to a man who encourages and pursues me with Christ-like love daily, and still getting to use my education by working alongside young adults, youth, and even children; watching them learn, grow, and flourish. Let me be honest when I say this was definitely NOT my original plan. If someone had of asked me two years ago what I thought my life would look like now, this would have been far, far from my mind. However, the peace that surpasses all understanding is real, and the peace that comes with handing all fear over to The Lord and letting Him take you where He wants you to go is life-changing. It was for me, and it can be for you too! I pray a blessing over all of you reading this wondering if you’re following the plan that God has for you. I pray wisdom, guidance, and discernment with all future decisions, and that you, too, would come to a place of actually asking Him what he would have for you. God loves you with a boundless love, and He’s excited to show you who He’s called you to be!
